Unfortunately I've been laid off before working in entry level positions in a field that has a high turnover rate (call center customer service) so I wasn't really upset about it. Now that I have grown my experiences, skills, and connections getting myself into higher positions, this recent layoff hit a little different.
At first I felt numb, just going with the days trying to think positive thoughts that this was a sign for something greater. Then the feeling of worthlessness started to settle in after constant applying to new jobs with no light in sight. It's like, am I truly that bad.
After many company ghostings and rejections, and very few interviews, I felt like my time was could be better spent doing something I actually want to do and been meaning to start but being employed was getting in the way.
So when I actually got things going with the marketing and branding and all that good stuff, I was a solopreneur still with an employee mindset. I was still expecting to wake up, clock in at a designated time, and wait for someone to tell me what I needed to do for the day, what quota I needed to meet and 1:1 meetings that could've been an email.
Instead it was just me telling myself what I need to get done and as the employer, that was terrifying.
The first few weeks of working for myself, I felt disoriented. I would wake up naturally at 9:00, 10:00AM. I would go on morning walks, afternoon walks, and some evening walks throughout my day. I ate slower since I didn't have a short lunch time to try and beat.
But I also was sat staring at a blank calendar with the realization that I was both the employee and the employer now. I set the schedule, and organize the tasks. I build the business.
Even when I thought I had a handle on the steering wheel, I kept waiting for someone to validate that I was doing it right. Like I was wanting my clients at the time to give me direction and structure beyond the project itself.
What did my business need? Am I saying this right? Should I be doing it this way?
And nobody came. Yes I had support from more established creators, but I still had to be the one to get it done and my procrastination is.... yeah. 👀😬
I had to make a choice with the mindset of who I was and who I'm trying to become and I decided I wasn't going to leave it behind. It's apart of me, I just need to look at it differently.
I began to embrace the employee mindset because it explains a lot in how I operate now.
As an employee, no matter the company or position, I often trained the new hires that joined the team. Not the entire class but in small groups of 3 maybe 4 people. That correlated into how I market my brand as a solopreneur and reach my target audience. I'm not trying to talk to thousands of people. Just the few who want to want to be here and sit with me as we grow through our journeys together.
I also structured my own time and workflow as an employee. Although I had a set schedule, I was still able to go in and organize my tasks in a way that works best for me. That correlated into how I organize my days, time and tasks without a set schedule from a boss, although I did end of creating one for me to follow to keep myself on track and track my productivity levels for my own data.
Then there's the "finding my voice" thing.
I'm an introvert. I've always been and for a long time I thought that meant I didn't have one or at least not one that belonged in rooms where important decisions were being made, but the teams I worked on were small enough that my voice actually mattered and I learned how to use it.
I was able to respectfully and professionally set boundaries and engage in decisions by speaking in my true tone and not the corporate mumble jumble. That correlated into me being able to easily find my voice as a solopreneur in how I come across in my copy whether it's social media, blogs, newsletters, etc. I don't follow that bro marketing vibes. I set my own.
So no. I didn't escape the employee mindset.
I just embraced the parts that allowed me to see what happens when you take all of that and stop waiting for someone else to give you the context to use it in.
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